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Monday Mornings with Madison


Believe in yourself

Belief in yourself and in your capabilities is an attitude that you build up with time. Although it helps to have supportive parents and peers to build your self-esteem, they are not necessary ingredients. In fact most successful people in the world came from dysfunctional families with no support whatsoever. At some point, they just decided that ‘the past does not equal the future,’ and they made a choice to believe in themselves and in their future.

Brain research today proves very clearly that if people build up a strong belief in themselves and what they want to do, they can do almost anything with a little training and coaching. The brain is designed to help us achieve anything that we really want and believe we can do. But, at the same time the brain is very sensitive to what we really believe and say to ourselves.

One of the main differences between successful and unsuccessful people is that, while everyone says, ‘I want to be successful, and make a lot of money,’ successful people add, ‘and I will, because I can.’  Whereas, unsuccessful people say, ‘but I know that I can’t.’

If you want to be successful in anything in life, you need to rid of ‘I can’t’ in all its forms—‘I wish I could but…’, or, ‘I would do it if only…’
The problem with all these thoughts is that they give your brain the message that you don’t really want to succeed, or you don’t really believe that you can. Either way, your brain will not help you achieve what you don’t believe is possible because the brain does not like to surprise people by achieving something that they didn’t believe they could do.

It is very sad to see people who really want to change their lives and really want to be successful, but because they don’t believe in their own capabilities, they constantly come up with excuses and reasons why they cannot succeed. The human brain constantly works to support our true beliefs. So if people do not believe that they can succeed, their brains will support them by bringing up all the reasons why they can’t succeed. And then those people will go around looking for evidence that they are right.

I usually tell people who think this way that they are 100% right, and I can give it to them in writing. But the real question is, “Do you want to be right or successful?” The truth is no matter how good your excuse is, you can always find someone else who had a similar situation or an even a better excuse, and some how managed to succeed.

Why? Because deep down they told themselves, ‘I will succeed despite all the obstacles.’ Once your brain gets a clear message that you are committed and have the will to succeed, it starts coming up with ideas on how to reach your goal. The human brain is much more powerful than any of us realize.

One of the obstacles we face when it comes to achieving success is that we look to other people to help us figure out what we want—or what we should want in life. The problem with this is that we cannot get excited about someone else’s goal.

If you need to have others believe in you before you can believe in yourself, you are destined to fail. Even if others do believe in you, it will not help unless you turn that into a true belief in yourself and set your own goals—and that’s something you can do right now.

What you think about me – is none of my business.
Dr. Daniel Amen came up with the 18/40/60 rule:

  • when you are 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you
  • when you are 40, you don’t care what anybody thinks about you, and
  • when you are 60, you realize nobody is thinking about you at all.

People are too busy thinking about what you think about them, so they don’t have time to think about you.
And if that’s the case then it is totally up to you to decide what you really want in life, and build up the belief that you can and will accomplish it. Your commitment and belief that you know where you are going and that you will get there will create positive energy. You will find new opportunities every day to help you achieve your goal.

Sit quiet for a few minuets and listen to yourself talk. When you think about the future and your vision for your life what do you tell yourself?

  • Do you really believe in yourself and in your ability to achieve your goals?
    If not, what would it take to change that?
  • Can you find a few people who have accomplished what you want in life? How did they do it? Go and find out, then commit yourself to what you want, regardless of how difficult it will be to get there.
  • If you find that you cannot get yourself to make that commitment, rethink your goals again. Maybe the goals you tell yourself about are not really that important to you.
    And if these goals are not really important to you, then what is?
  • Can you at least commit yourself to find out what’s really important to you in life?

The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. Jewish Proverb

Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength. Jewish Proverb

Suppose a reporter was going to follow you around today and report on the way you spent your time in tomorrow’s newspaper. How would you spend the day?

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